Open all the doors, carry all the bags...

I'm ever and all ways seeking ways to make life easier, happier - smoother. It's not easy, troublesome people out there... and even good people can be cantankerous. There is a bucket full of ways to make people happy and an empty ocean of ways to make them unhappy.  The longstanding and the most famous problem arises between men and women. The other curious George – George Carlin – wrote,”... women are crazy and men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” This observation applies to me. To make my life easier, I work on an evolving protocol of behavior to ensure I get on well with women: my mother, daughter, girlfriends, or any woman who may be called upon to be a mother or the President of the United States. The protocol has to be simple, easy to remember. I'm stupid. Here is how is stands now: Open all the doors, carry all the bags, buy her wine, tell her she's pretty. If don't know how this may work on transgender people – I don't do complicated – unless it's a relationship – I'm a master of that. All I know is, I'm not holding the men's room door for anybody.